You are not a special snowflake

Alright, so the title may have taken you a little off-guard. You may be thinking to yourself “wow, this DIY Jahn person is kind of a jerk. They don’t even know me and yet look at what they are saying to me!” Well, the reality is, you’re not a special snowflake to most people.

Steps 1-3 of Kelly Williams Brown’s book Adulting.

Step 1: Accept that you are not that special

Remember when you were growing up and your mom and dad (or guardian or aunt or uncle or teacher or friend or loved one or neighbor, you get the picture) told you that you were unique and irreplaceable?

Well, that’s both true and not true. You are unique. You are physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and otherwise different than every other human on this planet. Unless you’re a twin, then you may have more similarities than most people. But in reality, you are different. And there are a lot of people who see that in you and love those differences about you.

However, you are unique just like everyone else. Which means, unfortunately, that you are really not that special. You can play guitar? So can millions of other people and some of them have albums out already. You can write? So can a million other people and they get daily views to their blog. Wow, you’re good at juggling? Well, that’s… cool.

You’re not a special snowflake.

 Snowflake

Step 2: Appreciate those who disagree with step 1

Your mom and dad, your loved ones, your friends (all those people I listed before), they all honestly think that you are the bees knees – you are the greatest gift to creation. You are awesome. You are special. You are irreplaceable.

As Brown puts it “When there is a You Parade, these people will be the flag bearers, the drum majors and majorettes.” And in reality, you only get a few people like this – who truly care about you and want to be there for you. Don’t forget that. Appreciate them. Show up at their You Parades. Be there for them. Send them thank you cards to let them know you are thinking about them.

Do you know how much your mom would love a card from you for no reason at all? Probably not. Because you have probably not sent her one. Do it. She will love it.

Remember to be there for them and remember that they truly do care because, as Brown puts it so eloquently, the rest of the world “doesn’t give a flying fuck about you.”

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Step 3: Don’t get hurt when the world doesn’t care about you

Sometimes this can be hard to see. Honestly, it was for me for a while.

You see, the thing is, it’s really hard to imagine how other people exist in the world with you. Try to think of somebody in France. A random person. Or Australia. Or Africa. Or Canada. Or Florida. Picture a person you’ve heard of (that isn’t famous) that is just a normal person. Now think about what their life is like. Imagine what it is like to be them.

Now tell me something – do you genuinely care for this person? If they broke up with their lover today or their mom died, would you show up?

What about if your co-worker’s mom died? Would you be there next to them for the following months while they grieve or would you console them in passing and send a card?

You don’t love everyone in the world. It’s impossible. So, how can you expect everyone in the world to love you in return?

It’s hard to accept that though. I know that this is hard for me to see as well, but it’s part of adulting, right? Because we need to understand that we are not special, but there are a few people who think we are and they are the most important people in our lives; we need to be there for them.

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Are you ready to adult? Keep following our blog as we work through Kelly Williams Brown’s book Adulting and watch for more blogs with DIY crafts, projects, meals, creative stories, poems, and more!

We love hearing from you – leave us a comment below!


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5 Replies to “You are not a special snowflake”

  1. This is a great post. I wish I could haven’t given my former roommate this book. She needs it. My kids are in their early 20s and are starting to realize they are not special snowflakes to the rest of the world. As a parent its a hard process to watch.

    PS. Popping over from The Blogging Life FB group.

    1. Thanks for the comment, Tricia! I imagine that is hard to watch your kids go through as they enter adulthood. I definitely recommend the book though. I’ll be going through it step-by-step here, but if you want to read it yourself there’s a link above. It’s great – helpful tips and a lot of comedy to go along with it – easy to connect with. Glad you enjoyed the post!

  2. I’ve never heard of this book before, but this is such a great post, I’m going to check it out. As a parent, and a person, it us hard to accept, but also a bit of a relief.

    1. Thank you for the comment, Shann! 🙂 It’s definitely a great book to check out – I truly recommend it! I have more steps coming through now (they’re written and I’m working on publishing them here). You can watch for them in the “Adulting” tab at the top, you can sign up for our email newsletter and I’ll let ya know when they post, or you can pick up the book at Amazon.

      I’m sure you’ll enjoy it and I’d love to hear more of your story! 🙂 How old are your kiddos? I like how you put it: hard to accept, but also a bit of a relief. That definitely is what I’ve heard as well. Thanks for sharing!

  3. Thank you for the comment, Shann! 🙂 It’s definitely a great book to check out – I truly recommend it! I have more steps coming through now (they’re written and I’m working on publishing them here). You can watch for them in the “Adulting” tab at the top, you can sign up for our email newsletter and I’ll let ya know when they post, or you can pick up the book at Amazon.

    I’m sure you’ll enjoy it and I’d love to hear more of your story! 🙂 How old are your kiddos? I like how you put it: hard to accept, but also a bit of a relief. That definitely is what I’ve heard as well. Thanks for sharing!

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