When my wife and I first moved to the area, we really struggled. We were in the middle of 130 acres of camp grounds – alone. At the time, we were the only ones to live on the campgrounds in the winter (now one other person does with us). Anyway, I have watched many horror movies and I know that they all take place in the middle of unoccupied land in one house that has girls in it. I know how it works. Ugh.
But that’s not the point of this blog. The point of this blog is to move into
Step 3: Don’t get hurt when the world doesn’t care about you.
We really struggled when we first moved here because we didn’t know how to make friends. Growing up, it’s so easy – you’re forced into situations where you can meet people and build friendships: play dates, tumbling classes, art classes, school in general. Even in college it is fairly easy to meet some friends because you’re all together all the time. You live together, eat together, work together, and go to class together. Usually, you do homework until ungodly hours of the night together too.
So, your whole life you’re made to think that making friends is as easy as showing up. The sad truth is: it’s not. In the real world, it takes effort to make friends. And no, Netflix won’t get you there, sadly.
It’s also important to remember that just because you meet someone in the real world, doesn’t mean you are friends. As Kelly Williams Brown puts it, “you sometimes find patches of immediately friendly people, but that won’t be the rule. It is now up to you to find and surround yourself with people for whom you feel affection and respect.”
My wife and I still struggle to make friends. We are kind of loners. We like to spend our nights at home: crafting, Netflixing, cleaning, cooking, but not usually going out. We don’t drink. We don’t party. It can be difficult, but we are getting there.
Right now we have two main friends that we are close to. One just moved from the other side of the state, but was connected to camp to begin with. The other is living at camp with us now and is a really good friend of ours. It takes effort though. And it doesn’t stop taking effort just because you think you’ve reached the friendship point. You have to keep working on it. And I suppose that that realization is a huge part of adulting in itself.
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